she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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