god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So many bounce houses so little time
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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