Got a toothbrush?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
