She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
