Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
