So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
