My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
