I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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