We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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