Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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