Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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