break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
