Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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