he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
