we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
