i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize