No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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