sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
