To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
