He asked to "fluff my boner.."
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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