Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
