I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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