No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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