i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize