This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize