jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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