How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
