This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
