hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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