You can't motorboat a personality
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
