I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
