I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
