My first STD was from a foam party
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
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She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
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Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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