I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
