I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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