Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
