You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
