We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
