yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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