I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he puts the penis in happiness.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
