whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
