Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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