It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
