I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
do herpes really smell.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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