new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
