look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
