I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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