I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
