Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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