Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
