3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
MIDGETS
????
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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