In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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