Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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