quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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