She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
