Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
