You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
