i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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