I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
