he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
