Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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