Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i drank out of a bidet.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
